2017/06/18

Jess

This is Jess.



She's my friend and my roommate.

Jess loves cop shows, Bobby Bones, and the University of Arkansas Razorbacks.

She wears pink lipstick and makes the most delicious chocolate banana bread.

Jess navigates thrift stores like it's her job and she decorates our house for every season.

She loves 90s country music and Harry Potter.

One day, Jess is going to own a bakery with cookies that taste like Twix bars, and I'll be her number one customer.

I'm glad we're friends.

2017/06/11

Reflection


A few nights ago, I got home from work around 11pm. It had a been a long day (long week to be honest) and it showed on my face. I removed my makeup and cleansed my face and went through the other million steps to get ready for bed.

I ended up just standing in my bathroom staring at my reflection.

My hair was a bit greasy and falling out of its braid. My eyebrows were all over the place and embarrassingly unplucked. My eyes were slightly red on account of a bad reaction with a makeup remover that I'm still trying to fix. My shoulders were so tense they were almost up to my ears. But my cheeks had a healthy color and my mouth was turned up at the corners.

I was a bit of a mess, but something about it felt very honest and intimate. Like I was meeting myself again after a long absence. A moment to reconnect and remember it's just a bad day, and not a bad life.

2017/04/08

Disappointment and Happiness


Life is full of disappointment.

Dinner that consists of Pringles and a can of ginger ale.
Just barely missing your train three days in a row.
Wasting an awesome outfit on a crummy day.
The Orlando Magic (I still love them, but man this year it's even more difficult than usual).
When the second book in the series ruins everything you liked about the first.

Life is full of happiness.

New friends.
When the last book in a series completely lives up to expectation.
A guided tour around the Smithsonian.
Going to a play all by myself.
When there's cake at faculty meeting.
Space Jam.

2017/03/29

Jane Austen on Books


"If a book is well written, I always find it too short."

Jane Austen

2017/03/28

Too Late


There is a certain acceptable time within which one must say, "I'm sorry." A sort of statute of limitations on apologies, but that protects those who you've wronged.

You can only apologize so long after the fact. Past that time, it's self-serving. It's unkind. It doesn't mend things; it just digs them up and leaves it exposed anew. Or it's just uncomfortable, where both parties thought the offense was long since over and done with.

And yet, you still feel awful. You regret that you've let that undetermined about of time expire and you've got to live with that. Live with the fact that you hurt someone or did something wrong and on top of it, you were too cowardly to properly take care of it. I'm not one to say "no regrets" (this TED talk cured me of that), mostly because that regret hopefully makes me make different choices the next go around.

Next time, I'll apologize when I should.

Next time, I won't have a reason to apologize. I'll do it right the first go around.

2017/03/14

Spring Break


This week, the university I work for is on Spring Break. While I still have to go in to the office, I've had a bit of a lucky streak. Between the network down on Monday and today's snow day, I've had a bit of an impromptu break of my own. In the past two days I've cleaned my room, cleaned out my email, done laundry, watched Broadchurch, ate mac & cheese, grabbed dinner and dessert with friends, and worn pajamas through most of it.

It's been lovely. Really lovely, and I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. But I'm grateful for the chance I've had to slow down. To relax and put things in perspective. To be somewhere safe and warm and with very few cares.

image via

2017/03/10

For Colleen


Yesterday morning, my sweet grandmother Colleen passed away.

My dad always says that we never new the mother that raised him, and so I'd like to tell you about the grandma that I knew. The Grandma I knew loved the color blue and finished every meal with ice cream. The Grandma I knew wore bright pink lipstick and loved Cinderella. The Grandma I knew loved God and Christ and once sat with me for ages and ages watching Bible videos on the Mormon Channel. The Grandma I knew loved her family - her parents, her children, her grandchildren. The Grandma I knew was lovely and told me I was beautiful.

I'm so grateful to be her granddaughter and to have had the chance get to know her in the last several years. My life and my family's life has been enormously blessed because of her goodness and love, and I can never thank her enough. I loved her very much, and I'll love her forever.

Until we meet again.